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Why Women Love Starbucks More Than Men

I don’t think anyone can truly appreciate the intricacies of Starbucks until they’ve lost their internet connection. It’s one thing to go to coffee heaven every day for your designer latte in a cup emblazoned with the familiar icon of caffeine elitists. You’re in, you’re out. You can browse baked goods or scan the room to see who’s there. But until you’ve parked yourself in this establishment for hours, getting free WiFi along with expensive drinks, you haven’t truly understood the magic that is Starbucks.

I lost my internet connection at home so I went looking for a connection. And since Starbucks is right down the street, I decided to combine my obsession with expensive java with my need for global access. Starbucks was perfect.

I’ve never spent much time there before. I never noticed the way bartenders interact with their customers and each other in a truly harmonious way. I didn’t appreciate the choice of music that underscores the atmosphere in this country that continues to be cool, despite the global dominance of all things coffee. You’d think that by now the fickle world would have moved on and discovered another hidden culinary treasure.

From the music played to the lighting and friendly staff, everything at Starbucks is designed to make you feel relaxed and happy. It didn’t take more than 15 minutes for me to feel at home, not a parasitic intruder feeding off my internet connection. I was filled with positive emotions.

I’m not naive. I know this environment is not an accident. It’s a satisfying mix of clever marketing, design and ergonomics that come together to support our addiction to really, really good coffee.

When the chemistry works, there is both a spark and a calm. I don’t know how they mix, but they do.

I realized that the same is true with women. The environment you create, your personal environment, is what calms them. When you create an atmosphere that makes her feel good, she associates that positive feeling with you. Be that place where she can feel at home, with or without conversation. Many men think it’s up to them, but it’s more about how she feels when she’s with you. Stop trying to impress and focus on creating that space where she can release her stress and ignore the problems of the world. Provide an environment where she feels welcome, not pushed to buy. She needs to know that someone is there to help when she needs it, but not hover over her desk, making her tense.

Be her Starbucks.

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