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Choosing Your Baby’s Sex
This is a question I have asked myself many times as I wonder if it is really possible to choose the gender of my unborn child. Of course, this is without using any of the high-quality methods such as invitro fertilization, which is extremely expensive, but without a doubt the most effective way to choose the gender of your child. However, for those of us who live in the real world, this option is simply not within our means, so we are forced to look for alternative methods that, while not as reliable, do show some degree of success, including my own experience, which is worth . look into.
First, let me share my story and my experiences of what led me on the adventurous journey of choosing the gender of my baby. It was 2004 and my 10-year-old daughter was getting old, and so was I, of course. At the age of 32, I embarked on the exciting journey of trying to conceive again. It turned out to be much more difficult than I anticipated when after a year of trying I still didn’t get pregnant.
I almost gave up and one morning while my daughter was sleeping and I was standing over a pan of pancakes, my husband and I were discussing life in general and I noticed that I was more irritable and agitated than my usual self. Suddenly the light bulb went off and I realized my period was late. After he left for work, I ran to the bathroom, took a pregnancy test and after 10 minutes I was thrilled to find out that I was indeed pregnant. For some reason, the thought of having a baby boy was exciting and I couldn’t help but think about how perfect it would be to add a gorgeous son to our family.
My husband was looking forward to the possibility too, but of course he chose not to admit it, instead saying that as long as it was healthy it would be all he could hope for, which was very nice, but I knew better. My daughter said she didn’t care and was excited to finally have a sibling. One day, and I’ll never forget it, she turned to me and blurted out, “Mommy, I know it’s a girl.”
I hate to admit it, but for a moment my heart sank and something deep inside me knew he was right. Sure enough, as the ultrasound confirmed, my beautiful Savannah was born 6 months later. She was absolutely the most beautiful little baby, other than daughter #1, I have ever seen and my life couldn’t have been better. I knew almost immediately that I was going to get pregnant again.
I thought to myself, well, I had my “only” child, which meant my 10-year-old daughter, I felt it was only right to have a sibling for my youngest addition to share the special bond I had with my own sister, who she was only 16 months younger than me. That was my excuse anyway, and after an unexpected miscarriage 6 months after Savannah was born, I decided to do this next and last pregnancy a little differently.
I happened to visit a friend one day and shared with her my desire for a baby boy and expressed my curiosity about being able to choose the gender of your baby at conception. She immediately stood up and said, “But it is possible to choose the gender of your baby, I did it myself!” At that moment, call it fate or a sign, her youngest and only son burst through the door and began smashing the car he was driving across the room.
She shared with me her own experience where her husband unreservedly let it be known that he wanted a son and they just kept trying until he got one. After the birth of her second daughter, she decided to take matters into her own hands. In the end, she was really successful. Her story gave me hope that it was possible and fueled me even further in my desire to achieve the unattainable, to choose the gender of my child.
Is gender selection for you?
I’m going to throw this out there simply because it states the inevitable and something you’ll find in your research: This method does not have a high success rate by any means. For as many success stories as you can find, you need to find as many failed deals as possible. As you read and do your homework, you too will hear it over and over and become easily discouraged.
All I can offer is that it worked for me, I thank god everyday for the beautiful baby boy we were given. And to those naysayers and non-believers, we can all agree on the undeniable fact that every baby is a special gift season. No one can deny that the creation of life is something to be admired and admired.
However, as I toyed with the odds of choosing the gender of my baby, I decided to look at this bizarre ordeal in two ways: 1) Even if I ended up with an expensive girl, I would know that I had done everything possible to achieve my son and the end was really a win regardless of gender. And 2) I was doing something I would never do again in my life, this was my last pregnancy, my body would never carry another person again, which is an amazing process in itself.
I thought to myself, what a crazy experience to look back on in years to come and laugh, if nothing else. I mean, it’s crazy, right? Do you really think you can choose the gender of your baby? Well, I personally believe it is possible because it happened to me and it can happen to you. So without further ado let’s get down to it.
Theory and speculation
When I decided to try gender selection, I did a lot of research. In fact, there is almost too much information out there to either help you or really just confuse you because some of the methods contradict each other. I personally found it overwhelming at times. After some trial and error, I took a deep breath and finally decided to read as much as I could get my hands on and then choose based on good old common sense and can only hope that my gut will lead me to the result I want. .
The two most popular theories for gender selection are the Shettles method and the Whelan theory. As I stated, these are the most popular, but they contradict each other. Both theories basically have the same concept and suggest that you can predict the gender of your baby by manipulating the timing of conception in relation to when you ovulate. Both refer to the male Y chromosome and the female X chromosome. Simply put, whichever chromosome reaches the egg first will be the determining factor in what gender the fetus will be.
The Shettles method states that it has been scientifically proven that male Y chromosomes are faster but less stable than female X chromosomes. Basically, because Y chromosomes are faster, if conception occurs within 1-2 days of ovulation, the Y chromosome will fertilize the egg as the former, which will result in a male fetus. However, if conception were to occur 3 to 5 days before ovulation, then only the more durable and stable X chromosomes would survive and outlive the Y chromosome, resulting in a female fetus. Apart from this main concept, Dr. Shettles also advises certain sexual positions as well as whether or not to have an orgasm, which will affect the fertilization environment.
Whelan’s method is based on biochemical changes in a woman’s body that occur before ovulation, which determines the sex of the child. To conceive a boy, conception would have to occur 4 to 6 days before ovulation, and to conceive a girl only 2 to 3 days before ovulation. This theory supports certain diets to influence the acidic versus alkaline environment of the vagina at the time of conception. This has to do with the fact that boy sperm tend to respond better in a milder alkaline environment than female sperm, which tend to thrive in an acidic environment.
Since both of these theories focus on ovulation, your first step when you’re ready to start is to buy ovulation kits so you know when you’re ovulating. It is recommended to start early and take a few test rides to get more in tune with your body and how it works. These can be purchased at any drugstore or department store next to maternity kits. Depending on the brand, they usually run around $7-10 for 1-2 sets. There are other ways to determine ovulation, such as basal body temperature and observing the position of your cervix, however I chose to use the kits, it just makes life a little easier.
They must have resources
In my journey of gender selection discovery, I have used several resources that have proven to be invaluable. If your first attempt is successful, consider yourself lucky. It wasn’t that easy for me and when you only have a window of 1-2 days a month, let’s just say you will have a lot of free time. Time to think and think and think. An invaluable resource that I used daily was a site called Babycenter.com.
This gave me a place to be heard and an opportunity to talk to other women going through the same thing. I also got a lot of ideas, not to mention some much needed support. Gender selection wasn’t something I wanted to advertise, and because of the trauma of my miscarriage, I decided not to share it with anyone I even tried to get pregnant with. Subsequently, this online support group became my safe haven and a place to go when I felt down and sort of release all my frustrations.
Most importantly, it was a place where I went to ask questions and see what other moms-to-be were doing on their journey. For example, I heard here about a lubricant called PreSeed that you put in before intercourse to help create a more favorable environment for fertilization. Another tip I got from the forum was to use a cup instead, which is a cup that is inserted after intercourse to keep the sperm close to the cervix. I got pregnant the first time I tried using them. I’ll never know if I would have conceived without these two little tricks, but I know I wouldn’t do it again without them. As I mentioned before, these forums have a wealth of information and ideas that you can take advantage of. Simply go to Babycenter.com, click on the Pregnancy category and look for a forum called Gender Determination.
My second resource was reading two books that helped me understand what I was doing overall. The first was How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby by Landrum B. Shettles, who explained the Shettles method and how it worked. The second book was called Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. This book wasn’t necessarily a book about gender selection, although it touched on the subject briefly, it was more of a book about everything you ever wanted to know about your body. It helped me learn how to create charts to record my menstrual cycles, temperature and conception attempts. These have proven to be very helpful and I believe I am more in tune with my body and its ticking than ever before.
What worked for me
I decided to go with the Shettles concept because it was what worked for my friend and it also made more sense than Whelan’s theory. As mentioned above, I used the PreSeed and Viola Cup and Viola for almost a year after Savannah, Jackson, my son was conceived. Let me add that once you are done with this process, especially if you are like me and have a lot of practice trying to get pregnant, you will know your reproductive self better than you ever thought possible. Tracking your ovulation cycles is only the tip of the iceberg.
Depending on how serious or desperate you are may be a better term will determine how far you go in the process. Other methods that help with sex selection include: diets, vitamins, having your husband drink caffeine before sex, douche methods, vaginal temperature, vaginal pH testing, mucosal examination to determine ovulation, using turkey basters for insemination techniques, etc. others. I’m proud to say I’ve attended almost all of them, well, um, except for the turkey baster just because that’s what having girls is for, thank goodness. Like I said, it was a journey.
It’s up to you what works for you if you choose this path. Try not to take it too seriously and it could actually be fun. I have to say, it’s an adventure if nothing else, and while it can be frustrating at times, it can also be the most rewarding thing you’ll ever do. After all, what awaits you at the end of this journey does not matter about gender. Good luck!
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